Goobledygook
by Quarkz
Summary: Weeee, Jello, Mashed Potato, Fluff and complete M/L fanfiction stereotypes!
1. Representational Stereotypes

A/N (Thats Me!): I wrote this story one boring Wednesday night when I couldnt get to sleep, it took me about 6 hours to write so dont blame me if its bad, it started of serious but by the ending took a turn for the worst and turned into pathetic humour. Its complete M/L, I thought that would make some people happy. Fluff, SML, Drabble, the only way a story should be. I hope you guys enjoy, reveiws would be nice but Im not going to blackmail them out of you like other authors do, plus, who the hell would volourtarily read my stuff?! The title developed itself when I typed 'Senseless' into the thesaurus in Microsoft Works, it gave me this word which I kinda like, thus I made it the title. Big thanks to alowlypotato who even though did nothing to help this story, I just love her for creating such fantastic fiction, if you wanna read the funniest fanfiction in the world have a gander at her story: 'This isnt funny cept it is' One of the best fanfictions ever created!  
  
Rating: R Rated, I aimed for PG-13 but I got fruit thrown at me by Desperate M/L Shippers.  
  
Mrs Disclaimer: No I didnt sink the boat, No I dont have a funky last name, and no I am thank god not Gail Berman. I didnt create Dark Angel and I dont own it. I hope I never do because I would probably make it worse than its current state. (Imagine Season 2 writing with the pathetic stunt attempts of Season 1 added to it, oh add some more furry mutants and cant touch me virus's too, for good measure) I would bring back the curls too!  
  
*****  
  
))Gobbledygook((  
  
::Q.u.a.r.k.z:: ((ilovebeing@antisocial.com)) ~www.homebody.cjb.net~  
  
*****  
  
It was a typical Wet and stormy Seattle Night, The water cascaded down Logan's windows, the light that was present inside the penthouse shimmered through the beads of moisture, magnifying the glow then displaying it onto the nearby wall and floor in a spectacular lightshow; only mother nature knew the key to such beauty.  
  
A lone silhouette sat beside the window gazing out at the broken city, he sat there, in deep thought just blankly staring at the street below, Body still, He's mind was racing.  
  
//She doesn't want you Logan, your a cripple, look at you, your in a wheelchair for gods sake, she's so perfect, You would only slow her down, Do you want that? Her to get caught because of you, I think its better you just leave it be at friendship status, it doesn't look like she wants anymore than that..or does she, damn you little voice! I go to you to solve my problems but all you ever do is create more!\\  
  
Logan rubbed his temples to try and dissolve the ever present headache that was beating like a trapped prisoner in his skull. Logan started to believe that he didn't need just a good dose of Panadol, he also needed a dose of Prozac, not only did he have voices in his head, he was telling them to shut-up and they where talking back.  
  
//Why don't you do something about your feelings? If you leave it too long the time will come and go, she will have moved on and you'll still be sitting there with your finger up your ass trying to figure out what you did wrong, Max wont wait around for ever, especially not for someone like you...someone that is so different to what she is\\  
  
His wandering thoughts where interrupted by a familiar voice coming from behind him.  
  
"Hey there stranger" Max piped up in her usual carefree attitude.  
  
"Oh Hey Max" Logan said trying to act surprised  
  
"You Ok?" Max exclaimed worried, "You looked like you where on another planet when I barged in, everything's ok isn't it?"  
  
"Yeah everything's fine, I was just thinking that's all...ahh what brings you over?" Logan said trying to change the subject  
  
"Female's like me get hungry you know and seems how I am an expert at burning water then I figured that maybe my meal ticket might not mind cooking his favourite girl up something to eat?" Max exclaimed  
  
Logan cringed, he hated it when she called him that but of course wounds could easily be healed when she called herself his favourite girl, he could get used to that.  
  
"Umm Yeah I was just about to whip something up, what would you like tonight?"  
  
"Hmmmm Chicken a la Cale? Gotta love a favourite, got any of that green leafy stuff?" Max requested as she started to sort through the contents of Logan's fridge.  
  
Logan chuckled, she was so damn cute, she had no idea what she did to him, if her beauty didn't kill him first then her voice would, she was so perfect, mind body and soul.  
  
"I cant seem to find any, bugger, I like that stuff with chicken, add some Garlic to it and I would be satisfied" Max started to eye off some mashed potato that was hidden in the far left hand corner of the fridge, she bent down to try and grab it but not even an X5 could compare to the array of groceries Logan had in his fridge, getting through a wall of Jell-O, Processed Vegetables and raw T Bone Steak was proving to be a mission in itself, Max prepared herself and leaned in to try and take a lucky snatch.  
  
Logan turned around from marinating the Chicken to ask Max how her latest Eyes Only mission was going, she was supposed to steal a chip for him last night but she was called away at the last minute by the news of Sketchy getting stuck in a dustbin after he so 'bravely' tried to rescue a cat that was stuck inside, while climbing over the top of the bin he slipped and his pants got stuck on the handle, his pants and boxers got ripped off cleanly and to make matters worse, the cat didn't appreciate him and his 'little' friend trying to save its life, apparently Sketchys little friend rose to the occasion in the excitement off it all, or maybe it was because there was some magazines in the bin that weren't for teenage girls, instead they contained teenage girls that weren't wearing much at all, either way, the cat didn't like the both of them invading its personal space and decided to get a bit nasty, poor guy, they're hoping to get the stiches out next week.  
  
"So how did last night go? I should have called and asked how Sketchy was, maybe I could have given the guy some reassurance, but the area affected was so small I thought he would have been alright, So did you get that chip? I was meaning to asssss....k" Logan's face dropped as he turned his whole body around to get a better look, Max was fully in his fridge, her mission was tougher than she had imagined and well she was trying damn hard to get that mashed potato, her ass was proudly stuck in the air, slightly to the right, which just by coincidence was the side Logan was standing on. Her tight jeans where erm, a little tighter than Logan could handle, and boy did they hug her butt, better than glad wrap could anyway. Max started to sense Logan's sudden lack of speaking and brought herself out of the fridge, Logan couldn't move after what he just got an eye off all he could think about was finding the closest counter or pillow he could hide behind. His eyes where now tightly shut because he didn't think it was healthy for a man to stare at something he couldn't have for too long, the wind might change and certain places might stay the same which wouldn't be too cool.  
  
"Logan, H e l l o...."Max was standing about a metre away from Logan yelling at him trying desperately to get some sort of human reaction, "LOGAN!" Finally after cleaning his mind of all dirty thoughts he opened his eyes to finally get himself back down to gravity.  
  
"Sorry Max, I just got a bit of spice in my eye and it was a bit harrrrrrr...d" Logan's face dropped again while his eyes plummeted towards her chest, Hadn't the woman ever heard of t shirts thicker than 2mm or one you couldn't class as curve hugging?!" It appeared that Max didn't just check the fridge she also checked the freezer which seemed to have a umm certain effect on her body, upper body. Logan felt blood rush to places blood wasn't welcomed at this point of time but he couldn't take his eyes off them, he just wanted to reach out and...  
  
"LOGAN!" Max was now kinda worried, his lack of motion and verbal usage wasn't common of him, the way he had his hands precariously placed over his crotch also worried her but she had a feeling that that certain action wasn't life threatening, his other problems such as continual staring at her chest and lack of blinking made her kinda uncomfortable, there was only one thing left to do....  
  
*Whack*  
  
"What the hell was that for?!?!" Logan grabbed his face in shock while staring at her face in surprise, she didn't look happy.  
  
"Christ Logan I have been trying to get you back down to earth for about 5 minutes now, what the hell was wrong with you? I thought you had impulsive retardness or something, you just kept staring at my chest, mumbling some crap about stipples and pillows, then you started to drool, what got me really worried was where your hands where 'about' to migrate to!"  
  
Logan, inevitably was still getting over his ordeal, He had just saw 2 parts of Max's that where the most perfect and explicit, even though his mind might get over it, his body wasn't going to anytime soon.  
  
"Ahhh I gotta umm go to err.....the bathroom, heh, I think I left the heater on" Logan wheeled off in apparent pain like an injured soldier towards the bathroom, leaving Max to stand there with a blank confused look on her face. Even though she was an X5 the girl couldn't pick up on even the most obvious of things, which for Logan was good news, he had an hard on at this present time that could be visible from 6 metres away, Max's senses where all heightened, so of course her sight would be too, if she saw this beauty then I'm sure she would go blind, either that or it would poke her in the eye.  
  
//Holy crap man what the friggin hell are you gonna do?! Watch out it might bite, someone outta put a leash on that thing, call animal control this thing is savage, it needs a good beating! Oh crap, this little voice is getting real annoying, keep your dirty remarks to yourself would you. Um I am keeping them to myself, that's what an inner voice is....moron. Oh god, your not helping my current situation, why don't you think bout something gross, ok, ummm matt sung in a thong, dead kittens, angry beavers...\\  
  
'"Logan, are you ok in there?" Max was passed being confused now she was straight up worried, he was acting strange well stranger than he normally is which by the way, is real strange. Strange enough Max could hear a even more strange noise coming from the strange bathroom where Logan was...acting strange. "I'm coming in ok?" Max thought that this was the most logical thing to do, although he might think it strange that she felt comfortable enough to just walk in on him in the bathroom, strange things lead to even more strange things that could lead to bad things, and bad things aren't too cool. Max, Walked in confident, I mean, what's the worst that could happen...right?  
  
Logan snapped out of his logic war quickly enough just before Max thought she might make her presence known, not like her presence wasn't known enough, her presence was doing complicated and horrible things to Logan's body, horrible things that only a good set of hands or cold water could help. In a burst of quick thinking he grabbed one of his shoes that was on the floor and hurriedly mashed (Ohh harsh word) onto his lap. Max abruptly barged into the bathroom looking for the first thing that resembled Logan, she quickly found him as it appeared that he was right in front of her. Right at that particular moment, actually not right at that particular moment right at.....  
  
  
  
  
  
this particular moment the author decided to have a brown out, so 'ohh noo' the lights go out as they flicker in brown out fashion true to the way fox writers have wanted them to flicker. Max groaned while Logan silently rejoiced, they both made they're way back to the kitchen, Max walking along quite happily while Logan bumped and slammed into the walls at all angles, damn them and they're holding up of houses! While Max had gotten the candles out and had lit them quicker that you can say "Gailbermanisthescummiestscumonearthihopethatsheburnsinhell" Logan had made his way over to the kitchen to continue where he left off, Lucky for him the sudden brown out had dent made a brown out in his pants like they usually did but relieved him of all dirty thoughts of Max and that pesky little hard problem in his pants. Continuing with his cooking, he asked Max to get out a bottle of Wine, I mean Max and Logan always drink during a brown out so I may as well not be original, Max nodded and walked over to his wine holder picking out the first thing that caught her eye, making her way over to the glass cabinet she took out 2 champagne glasses and sat them on the coffee table in the living room. She sat down in usual Max fashion (Legs underneath her body, pulled to the left, toes curled into a ball, right arm under chin, head towards window to leave open easy access so she can turn her neck around into a sexy pose whenever a 'oh lets bask in the glory of how beautiful Jessica Alba is, why don't we just make all those guys out there feel really horny and make all the girls feel like crap because we don't look like her' moment is needed in the storyline to keep viewers interested. She sat there watching the rain pouring down on the unfortunate people underneath them, amazed at the fact that seems how it rains practically every episode, Seattle still seems to be high and dry, thank the blue lady for sewers!  
  
*Ding Ding* The Bell went off on the oven (Yeah I know bells make ring ring noises but this bell makes ding ding noises, I just though ding ding was more appropriate, Shush!) Logan got up from the chair and walked over to the oven, thank god for TV magic, this time he actually remembered to turn the oven on and the chicken looked as good as a chicken in a cooking magazine, plastic with toothpicks in it and hair spray on it to make it look shiny, mmmm don't you just love modern food. After a few minutes but was seemed like hours to our soon-to-be lovers, the food was dished up and ready for eating. Max and Logan sat around the coffee table, sipping on they're wine and occasionally sharing suggestive glances at each other, oh how I love fluff. Everything was looking super duper peachy until oh no insert dun dun dun here Max had a certain itch coming from a certain place. It couldn't be could it? 1.2.3.4.5 she counted in her fingers, yes that's right my unknowing readers, our super hero can count!  
  
"Shit" Max mumbled under breath  
  
Logan being the 21st centaury guy he is sensed her sudden stress and questioned it, "What's wrong Max?"  
  
"Ummm, Logan I gotta blaze, something's come up...or will come up soon which is why I need to go...now." Max was now very nervous, the itch was getting worse and it was spreading, her palms where getting sweaty and the corner of her lips where twitching, she wanted something, real bad, and I'm telling you it wasn't to casually sip wine with Logan, sure she wanted to do that certain thing with Logan, but it wasn't a bad thing, well it wouldn't be while they're doing it, but after they did it, the thing would be a bad thing, do you know what I mean now?! author celebrates not having to explain If you don't know what I mean, go ask your parents about where you came from, and tell them to ban you from using the computer too, this is R rated incase you didnt notcie! Bad You!  
  
"Max...I mean you haven't even finished your dinner yet" Logan for the second time in 2 minutes was sensing her stress, something was wrong, real wrong...hmm maybe he could make it right. "Max, I know there's something wrong, is there anything I can do to help?"  
  
"Heh" Max was no very irritated, her heat was growing stronger by the second and she was having sudden urges to just jump on Logan and make sweet monkey love to him all night, sure he might be able to last that long but if it got to that extreme she always had superglue, rubber bands and a ruler on hand. "Umm Logan, I go through err phases, because of my feline dna"  
  
"Phases?" Logan appeared interested but really he wasn't unless this topic had meaning he didn't know why his attention was needed.  
  
"Oh god this is so something I don't want to talk about, you know...cats...mating cycles" Max said the last line with a little bit of want, letting the mating cyclesss roll off her tongue in an extremely un- max way, hmm maybe she has Spanish in her cocktail. *ponders*  
  
"Ohhh....hhhh Um Cycles *cough* You go into...errrr...wow" Logan's attention was now held, all parts of his body reacted to this news, sure he wanted to help her but they where good friends and taking they're relationship any further would wreck they're friendship, besides Logan and Max aren't like that, duh, I thought you would have known that by now.  
  
"and now you can see why I have to go because well...because" Max itch was now an ache, that whole sentence was said in between breaths of self control and want, her itch needed to be scratched and it needed to be scratched NOW.  
  
Suddenly without warning Max started getting another feeling, a feeling that wasn't an itch, it was a shake, a tremble, it was insert suspense here a seizure! dun dun dun Max's body started to shake violently, the unstoppable trembles that rocked her body where um, unstoppable, in seconds she was converted from a horny teenage transgenic killing machine into a limp pile of shaking genetic perfection. Logan knew immediately what was happening and ran to her side, oh he was so caring. insert aww here  
  
"Max! Where are your pills?" Logan was now frantic, in true shipper style when these seizures hit they really worried him, all things where put off until they where under control.  
  
"In...mmy jjacke.........t" The seizure was now in full force and Max was having trouble keeping a grip on reality, Logan quickly pulled the pills out of her pocket and force fed them to her, unbeknown why she didn't choke, Max started gulping down pill after pill...without water, oh the horror of it all, that would be just like having dry...never mind.  
  
"Come-on Max, Swallow, Good girl" Logan had Max now in his lap and was stroking her hair, tears started to roll down her cheeks while she sniffled up the snot that was threatening to dribble out of her nostrils and onto Logan's finger, now that would be a real moment killer.  
  
After a few minutes the seizure has subsided and the shaking had been reduced to a slight shiver. Logan wheeled Max over to his lounge chair and carefully placed her onto the soft cushions, Max let out a groan, as he placed her head on the pillow, carefully pulling a stray strand of hair off her face that was threatening to unbalance the beauty of Max's face, therefore making her less picture perfect than she really is, we cant have now can we. Logan picked up the hair and tucked it behind her ears, then in one swift movement stroked his palm down her cheek, Max reacted to the warmth and pushed her face into his hand. He let his hand settle there for a few moments, just so he could take in her warmth, a small grin tugged at the corners of her mouth, her beauty astounded him, she was like his angel, but then Logan realised the fact that Max couldn't be an angel because angels do good, Max certainly didn't do good, she did bad, but it was a certain good type of bad, Logan was now confused, he didn't expect the author to put him in such a confusing position.  
  
Logan pondered this sudden miss-naming and came to a viewer stopping conclusion. Max was an angel she was a dark angel, yeah dark angel, she's does good but really she doesn't want to Quarkz refuses to reveal that she stole this explaination from an interveiw with JA. Logan looked over at Max and smiled, she was so at peace while she was sleeping, shame she didn't do it more often. "My dark angel" He whispered, then for no apparent reason Logan fell asleep. Quarkz hides sleeping pills then lets out an evil cackle  
  
Max woke up with a killer headache but when she saw who was in front of her it made a small smile creep across her face. Logan was slouched down in his wheelchair (which cant be good for his back, oh no, to the chiropractor you will have to go after this episode Loogie), his head was resting on his arm and there was a small pool of drool evident on his lap, poor guy. Max got up and tried stirring him.  
  
"Logan, Oi, Logan, Wake up sleepy head." Max was shaking him violently and we must not forget readers that she is an X5 and could just so well break his neck accidentally if she wasn't careful, still Logan wouldn't wake up, he was stirring and mumbling something about dead kittens and thongs, Max was determined so she gave him a swift smack on the leg Quarkz laughs at Max's stupidity But as she blankly forgot, Logan couldn't feel his legs, Max pondered her choices of waking him then leaned in for the taking. It was now or never, since Max woke up her hormones had returned and she was feeling horny as ever, there was the most sexy man in front of her asleep, sure he had a gay haircut and that drool was kinda intimidating but she figured that she could do whatever she pleased.  
  
After a few minutes of wrestling her conscious, ignoring that fact that a few minutes when your sitting there tilting your head from side to side is a real long time, Max decided the only way to wake him up was either grabbing him or kissing him, seems how he probably wouldn't be able to feel her grab him Max decided her best way to go would be to kiss him, sure there would be a million other less complicated ways of waking him up but that would make this story far less interesting and this is Max, and Max always takes the hard way out, besides maybe he'll kiss her back, then again maybe he will freak, Hmm oh well, its take it or leave it.  
  
Max leaned in then pushed her perfect pout lips onto his, Logan instantly woke up, I mean what sane man wouldn't. The heat of moment obviously went to his head because suddenly he had her straddling in his lap, after a few seconds of some serious saliva sharing Max succumbed to Logan and opened his mouth gaining him entry, they're tongues danced umm, the err tongue dance, kinda like the Macarena with more twisting. Out of breathe and with some seriously ruffled hair they both broke the kiss gasping for air, sure Max was an X5 and could her her breathe for 5 minutes or so but I chose to ignore that fact.  
  
Logan pulled away and looked into Max's eyes, they where so dark, so gloomy, so appealing, so....brown. Max leaned in for some more tonsil hockey but Logan pulled away.  
  
"Max we cant, this will cause so many complications" Complications Logan didn't really give a shit about right at this particular time but he had to look like a sensitive new age guy so extreme measures where needed, he needed to act like he cared so Max wouldn't get shitty at him for not trying to stop her, she was in heat for one thing, and he should know better, plausible deniability looked like the answer. "Max, we cant, your in heat, your not yourself" Logan sighed, letting his compassion show aggravation actually  
  
"Your right Logan, I mean this would only cause problems, we are not like that" Max started to climb off him and head towards the door squelch squelch, oh I'm so gross With a last piercing look into Logan's eyes, Max was searching for doubt, something to tell her it was ok to jump on him and have incredible SML all night long, Sure they would deny it afterwards and Max could just use the excuse that she was and heat, and Logan, well Logan could just say he was in a compromising position and decided to just act like a guy, I mean Max meant everything to him and he wanted what was right for her. Max was in deep battle with her emotions, to jump or not to jump, that was the question. Oh the woe! The horrible reality of the situation! What was our favourite couple supposed to do?! I think we should take a vote, ok who thinks they should walk away from this situation and not do anything about it, the pent up sexual tension may be a bit hard for them to cope with but look to the bright side, Logan would have more self control and maybe Max will impregnate herself. Quarkz looks around the room....cricket chirps  
  
Well then seems how that didn't work lets see who wants them to have incredible SML and brag about it to everyone, especially Asha, who maybe I can make walk in on them *ponders the issue of putting someone through such mental trauma* looks around room, gets stomped on by desperate M/L Shippers wanting some action, Quarkz starts to get beaten over the head with anti M/A Signs in protest, hides under table scared for her own life Well ummm, looks like they will be having some SML, maybe, depends if I think putting my mind through such gross thoughts will wreck my pure soul. batters eyelashes Anyway back to the story...  
  
Like a vicious horny dog trying to hump an innocent kids leg Max sprang ontop of Logan, she saw it in his eyes, the same lust, want and need that was cursing through her body, shaking up her emotions and making her think of more unappropriated thoughts.  
  
Logan found himself in quite a position, a genetically engineered wonder woman was straddling him on his lap and he was trying to keep pure thoughts in his mind, the hormones that where cursing through his body became too much to handle, Logan gave in (Like he always does) and succumbed to Max's demands, Max grabbed his shoulders and pulled them closer to her body. They where now in the kitchen, Max ontop of Logan while he tried to keep the chair balanced, tipping over wasn't an option, well at least it couldn't be written into the storyline so if that happened it might be a problem.  
  
She let go of his shoulders and braced her hands on the counter as he lifted her bottom. He tugged her jeans and panties black panties, like they ALWAYS are over her hips and down her legs to land in a pile at his feet. Acute awareness filled her as she catalogued every scent, from the musky scent of sex and hormones to the tangy spice of Logan's aftershave. Each breath, every whisper and gentle, soft moan was magnified. Sensations overloaded her sense, from the hard (and cold...ouch) surface of the counter top as she lowered her ass to it, to the warm air coming from Logan's breath brushing enticingly over her skin. Her mouth dry and her breath left in a whoosh only to be sucked in again sharply when his hands blazed a trail of heat up the inside of her thighs. He smoothed his hands down the outside of her legs. Gripping her heals, he set them on his shoulders, leaving her open and vulnerable. His hands trailed slightly along the underside of her legs, moving slowly, methodically and toward the centre of her, already swollen and aching for him. She nearly whimpered at his touch, her hips jerked towards the pure pleasure of his thumbs sliding slowly along her feminine folds. His gaze caught hers, darker and even more intense and filled with heated desire. Desire for her.  
  
He eased the length of his finger inside her, only to withdraw it and spread the moist heat over her. She moaned as he continued the sensuous teasing, applying just enough pressure to make her writhe her hips, but not send her over the edge. He placed a kiss on her inner thigh while his fingers worked magic, drawing the tension higher and higher, but expertly withholding release. He showed her the brink, but kept her from crashing over the side. Oh how she wanted to crash. Hard. Fast. Wild. Now!  
  
"Please Logan" she whispered, barley audible  
  
"Soon" he said,  
  
then he finally kissed her there with infinite tenderness. She felt like a live wire blown down in and left to dance dangerously over the pavement in a wicked storm, sparking and threatening to explode. He wove the most erotic spell over her, using his lips, teeth and tongue while his hands alternately massaged her inner thigh or continued his delightfully torturous exploration. He licked and probed, tasting the core of her until she trembled from the tension coiled inside her.  
  
"Logan, I need you...now" Her sudden exclamation wasn't a plead it was more of a demand. At this moment, there was nothing that she could have asked for that he would have not willingly given. The idea that she, Max who'd always insisted on total control in all parts of her life, should feel this way both intrigued and excited Logan. Max realised she had won the victory she'd been seeking, Max's mind, her heart, her lush fragrant body, all were his for the taking. Driven by sexual needs stronger than the forces of nature, she released him long enough so he could strip of his clothes and sheathe himself. She lowered herself onto his lap, then, with a single hard thrust he surged into her, deep and painful, driven by her breathless cries, the feel of her inner muscles, contracting, pulling him in. He hammered into her, again and again, hot flesh slapping against hot flesh, her soft cries muffled by his ravenous mouth as it ate into hers, his tongue thrusting between her parted lips in rhythm with his thrusting hips. A red haze shimmered in front of Logan's eyes, his movements quickened. Deepened. and then he was coming, in a torrential release that had him shouting out, the single word that wrenched out of his chest to reverberate around the tiled walls of the room where her name: Max.  
  
Logan and Max fell violently over the edge into a spectacular mind blowing orgasm, the screams that erupted throughout the penthouse where ear piercing, that defiantly was some damn good sex. damn good sex. Max threw her head back to rest it on Logan's shoulder, both satisfied and completely out of breath they just sat there, I mean, what do you expect them to say, Good work soldier? It appeared that not only was Logan Eyes Only, he was other places only too. Max slid off of his now l i m...p manhood and turned to face him, this was to be the hard part.  
  
"Logan..." Max started off her apology only to be interrupted by a kiss.  
  
Logan cupped her face in his hands and looked into her gorgeous...brown eyes. "Max, you don't need to apologise, I wanted this too, its not your fault, please don't blame yourself for something that wasn't a mistake" Logan was telling the truth at a time when people don't tell the truth, oh he was just the quintessential humanatrium, a true example for men everywhere.  
  
"Logan, please don't hate me, I cant control it, if I could I would, I'm glad that it happened with you and not some stranger but I'm afraid of what this will do to our friendship, what it has done to our friendship" Max now had an emotional tone in her voice, very un-max like, wow this story is really out of character.  
  
Logan put his fingers up to her swollen lips, "Max shush yeah SHUSH Maxie! I don't hate you, I could never hate you, this is not your fault, it wont wreck our friendship, nothing could ever wreck our friendship (unless you run off with Joshua *shudder*) What I'm trying to say is....I love you."  
  
Gasp, oh I bet you didn't see this one coming readers, or maybe you did, actually I bet you did judging by Max's state and what just happened, plus all stories that contain SML have to have a happy ending and declarations of love! Yay!  
  
Max was astounded, how could someone so erm...perfect love such a fucked up person? "You l..love me? Logan, please don't tell me lies just to make me feel better, how could anyone love me? I'm a genetically engineered killing machine with fucked up dna and a barcode. I'm not human, I'm nothing, I'm just...."  
  
"Perfect" Logan finished off her sentace. He kissed her again, this time slowly, it was a kiss of love, not a kiss of sex. "Max, I love you, I don't expect you to love me back, I just want you to know that I'm crazy about you and would do anything for you. You are my life, I wake up in the morning just to see that smile of yours."  
  
Max started to cry, this was the first time she felt needed in her life, the first time she felt loved. She looked down at her hands in embarrassment, Logan put his hand under her chin and brought her face up to meet his eyes. The tears where now freely flowing from her eyes, which caused her cheeks to puff up and go all red which made her super ugly, Logan had to do something quick before he started to cringe, besides she was crying all over his shirt which he didn't appreciate, doesn't the woman understand 'dry clean only'? Max sniffed up all the snot that was starting to dribble out of her left nostril, Logan whipped a stray tear that was threatening to fall, she let out a cute little Jessica Alba smile, not a Max smile, no it was a JA smile *Quarkz ponders the reason for this* Oh well, whoever's smile it was it was damn cute, after a few moments Max gathered up enough courage to speak.  
  
"Logan, I love you too" Max said (Just like she did in Borrowed Time, you know her voice cracking as she said it, then after sighing she scrunched up her face to make the tears fall) She looked into his eyes for any sort of acceptance, He just smiled and kissed her little nose, she let out a gigglesome laugh of relief (yeah you can get gigglesome laughs of relief) as he embraced her, they sat like that for a few moments, just enough time for the music to start playing and the camera to zoom out. Aww. 


	2. Tangent ORama

What's that my little freakish fanfic readers? They have done the dirty deed and declared their love, what else is there to happen? Well erm...not a hell of alot but meph I thought I could make up some drabble crap that might be slightly humorous. You are more than welcomed to flame me, this sort of writing should be accepted here but what can I say, I'm weird and I cannot control myself. Positive reviews are more than welcomed!   
  
I might actually write something decent one day but I wouldn't hold your breath, I think I need to brush up on my literary skills before then, where's that damn Noodle when you need her? This is not beta'ed and it seems my muse died half-way through writing it, I'm sorry ok! I didn't see her on the chair when I sat down! I'll have the muse midgee's knawing on my knee's next, ahhh there is no hope for me.  
  
For this chapter you really should have a good knowledge of all the episodes which Im sure wouldn't be a problem. I also make reference to such things as Weebl and Bob, The Blue Lady and maybe I can even shove Pon in there somewhere, oh the struggle of a shitty writer!  
  
Rating: This chapter is PG-13 for some swearing and suggestive adult content, wah.  
  
Mrs Disclaimer: No I didn't sink the boat, No I don't have a funky last name, and no I am (thank god) not Gail Berman. I didn't create Dark Angel and I don't own it. Don't sue me because I will chuck a shit, cry and snot all over your suit and tie. Rhyme, Yay!  
  
*****  
  
-))Gobbledygook((-  
  
::Q.u.a.r.k.z:: - ((heavy_as_empty@hotmail.com))  
  
*****  
  
After the mind blowing sex our hero's put themselves through (oh the irony!) the thought of getting up and watching some late night infomericials didn't really appeal, I mean who the hell does that appeal too....hey don't look at me like that.   
  
Slightly shaky Max got up off Logan's lap and stumbled to find her clothes, she never knew that having a keyboard used in such an experimental way would be so kinky, not to mention the fact that the key's where removable, woops I wondered where the num lock key went, heh Logan better wash that one before he puts it back....  
  
Lazily she walked into the office stumbling on all kinds of objects on the floor until she came across a 2m x 5m puddle of Jello mixed with mashed potato smeared on the floor, she shuddered at the recollection. Mashed Potato flavored Jello was so wrong, Chicken tar tare? Hopefully she could clean it up before Bling came in for his daily session, the thought of him walking in on Logan and her while they where trying to clean it up wouldn't be a good sight, besides Max was sure Logan would get carried away with the vacuum cleaner or whatever cleaning device they where using. She really didn't want to think about what he could do with those attachments not to mention the reverse suction, she also didn't really want to think about what Bling's face would look like, the poor man had an already too-ugly face as it was, wouldn't want to alter it to George Bush proportions. Quickly banishing the horrible premonition from her mind she concentrated on getting around lake jello without falling on her ass...she had enough bruises there as it was...damn Logan and his soap on a rope fantasies.  
  
Soon enough Max had found 96.7% of her clothes and had managed to put the one's that where still fully intact on. She walked back into the kitchen to find Logan only he was no-where in sight. After some minor curses under her breath she began picking up all his things which where scattered in every which direction. Soon enough she heard the water turn off and a very wet and disheveled Logan came strolling errr woops....wheeling into the kitchen.  
  
"Hey Max" he piped up contently, sounding very happy for someone who just a while ago had a toothbrush shoved up his.....never mind.  
  
"Morning Logan" Max replied casually.  
  
"You wanna have a shower while I whip us up something to eat?" Logan jumped straight into their usual M/L banter that they always seem to jump into (How can you jump into banter? Why can't you leap into it? Step, Fall, Swim maybe? WHY?!?!?!? Ahem....)  
  
" Yeah may as well, I better have a shower before I go to work, I'm going to get enough questions from OC as it is" Max replied as she started to walk towards the bathroom, stepping slightly to the left as she avoided lake jello.  
  
Quicker than you can say "foxarethedirtiestpiecesofuselessshitontheplanetandapatheticexcuseforanetwork" Max was out of the shower and scooting into the kitchen just in time because Logan had just finished making breakfast.  
  
*Vrooooooooooooooooooooooooooom Swiiiiiiiiiiiiish DING DING GO JERRY GO JERRY!!*  
  
"What the freaking hell was that? Max squeaked as the unexpected sound swished through the kitchen.  
  
"Ohhh that's TV Magic, don't you ever notice it in episodes? You know I always seem to whip up a culinary miracle just in time for you to come eat it?" Logan replied matter-of-factly.  
  
"Nope never noticed, but I suppose with my genetically enhanced hearing it's not like I could pick up on stuff like that!" Max now had a sudden air of ditziness around her angelic head, Logan pondered for a breif moment. "What ever happened in the episode Kidz are Aiight?" Max questioned, oh she was an alert one wasn't she?  
  
"Well because of budget cut's Fox decided to cut out TV Magic from our annual fee's. In that ep we obviously didn't have the service because the chicken never got cooked, we never ate it and you paid me out. Max nodded. You would have also noticed that in the episode "Bag Em" that it actually showed me cooking food, which has never happened in previous episodes, the food just always seemed to be there, of course you never see us eat in S2 either because we had no TV magic to make us edible food" Logan replied with a slight grimace on his face.  
  
"Ohhh I get it now *light bulb*, so thats why I look like an anorexic twig in S2, I just didn't eat" Max put on one of her suprised Max faces, you know like in "Kidz are Aiight" when she found out about Zack's contact number! She went "OoOoOo I can't believe it!", Still not with me? Bah, well she was suprised we'll leave it at that. No no NO not a birthday suprise look, a groundbreaking revelation suprise, geez don't you people ever listen?! (Quarkz shakes her head in clear happiness (aggravation actually)  
  
"Precisely, hey how do you know all this? This fanfiction is set in S1, S2 hasn't happened yet...." Ohhhh na na na na ponderation.  
  
"I saw the ad for S2 on the re-run channel the other night...By the way, what the hell's up with your hair?." Max quipped, ignoring the fact that her hair was just as bad, yes she even had noticed that they where using her as a sex symbol to lure in 12 year old boys to the 9pm Friday time slot but good old Maxie decided to ignore this factor...I mean she was getting paid right?  
  
"Oh well umm, thats another thing Fox pulled the plug on...Hair-dressing fee's. It seems that we also didn't have the fund's to supply proper hair stylists so they just let my hair grow and then combed it so it looked semi-ok. Besides, the team though it was a good idea at the time, My head came in handy for mopping the floor after shooting and I also housed a nest of orphaned squirrels." Logan remarked proudly.  
  
"How....touching, so what's for breakfast?" Max had come to the conclusion that Logan was prattling, Max didn't like prattling it gave her less air-time and made her life seriously boring, she decided that food was a good alternative, besides she had to stock up her fat supply's, looks like she was gonna be doing the whole of the next season drinking water and sipping on cheap champagne. *sigh* What was a genetically engineered piece of perfection such as herself to do? Where's that damn Pizza boy when you need him....  
  
"Well I'm sorry I don't have anything else but I had to re-heat the dinner from "Meow", seems how you didn't turn up I had to put it back in the fridge...funny though I don't recall having it further into the episode but lets ignore that factor shall we (Quarkz nods). You know about the whole TV magic thing and because I can't cook for shit I had to scramble around my fridge for something edible, this was the only thing I could find...looks like this will be the last dinner we have until Virtual Season 3...."  
  
"Thats coo (I'm guessing this is a word, other fanfic writers use it, I'm just trying to keep up with the street slang ya'all, word from the motha, ya here me? yer *rapper pose* werd.)" Max became confused at the appearance of the authors little tangent.  
  
Suddenly with no warning (no warning, doesn't that mean suddenly?! Hmmmm) the doorbell shrilled through the penthouse's pretty little walls. Well I think Logan has a doorbell, if he doesn't he does now, this is a fanfiction I can do what I want, Shush! Logan casually put down the 2 year old green looking gloop and casually scooted towards the door. With a quick flick of the wrist and a flex of his right bicep - just for Max ;). Logan opened the door to reveal.....insert suspense here  
  
.....  
  
.....  
  
.....  
  
Jesus and he had brought a..........casserole. Mmmm casserole.  
  
Suddenly again! (You can have 2 suddenly's in the space of 30 seconds?! Yikes!) A dark cloud va va voomed over the roof of the penthouse, Logan thought it was damned Mrs Mereno doing her rain dance again, he really wished she would stop living in the tent on his roof even though for a tent it had quite a nice bathroom...and a flush able toilet, awww modern luxuries. He had been ever confused since "Female Trouble" why she had moved up there, he was the bachelor, he deserved the penthouse not some crinkle cut-cane using old hag! Oh the injustice! Logan picked up his limp leg 30cm off the wheelchair pedestals and dropped it back down, the falling lump of meat made enough of a thump to be classed as a stamp of aggravation, Logan smiled at his achievement, he was about to get started on his perfectly thought out aggravated 'Grrrr' but was quickly snapped out of his reverie when the dark cloud started talking...damn darn it, this is fucking weird!  
  
"I am the Blue Lady, I need teeth, Me like teeth, teeth are gooooood" The ghostly figure loomed above the trio, all has seriously un serious looks on their faces, cracking up wasn't an option dammit this is a drama series!  
  
"lo Max, you have teeth?" Max shook her head.  
  
"lo Logan you have teeth?" Logan shook his head.  
  
"lo Jesus you have teeth?" Jesus shook his head.  
  
The blue lady now looked around, twitching, grring and maybe even a little bit of squidging for good measure....the BL was pissed off and because she was the BL she was allowed to be pissed off, she was evil and she was angry. Realizing that she wasn't going to get any teeth from these weird pathetic excuses for characters she decided to leave, back to the high place where teeth where plentiful and she even had hot Ben as her lapdog...oh the luxuries of being an in dependant woman in the 21st century.   
  
The BL sighed in eagerness. *sigh* She had an agenda and the agenda was teeth, these morons had no teeth, well they did but they where attached and the BL really didn't want to get blood on her new dry cleaned shall blue and white dress thingame, besides she left her teeth removing utensils back with god, that damn man was so clumsy she was sure he would be experimenting on that poor little sheep again, the BL flinched when she was brutally reminded of the last time, She shrugged and continued with her ummm...broadcast.  
  
"This has been a public service announcement brought you by CNN" The godly voice slowly ascended back up into the heavans, a bright light was seen and there was angels going 'Awwwww', well you know 'Ahhhh' or something like that, how angels go anyway, I'm sure you understand where I'm coming from right. Suddenly (da-mn not again!) the bright light, the gospel angels and crazy sadistic insane BL where gone.  
  
"Holy shit on Tuesdays toast what the frooking hell was that?!" Max demanded a little suprised by the fact that CNN now broadcasted from heaven, I mean it was bad enough with them down on earth and now they had heavenly power?! This was just too much.  
  
"Yeah after the pulse CNN closed down production because rats infested their building (they could hear them knawing you know), CNN where disgruntled so they moved up into heaven, it seems that their head director had an affair with Moses so... babble nobody cares about  
  
"Hmmmm, Yes of course, really, true, damn ya kidding, wow, ohhhh, woo" Max tried to seem interested but for Max that was very hard, she was showing alot of patience for someone who has no patience and alot was too much. She decided that Logan was prattling again thus it gave her less airtime, she needed to put a stop to this so she reached into her pocket and whipped out a....shaver!  
  
"OH MY JESUS CHRIST NOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOOoOoOoOoOo *breahe* OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo!!!!!!"  
  
"Bless you my son" Jesus said with his mouth full of casserole, that was damned good casserole...damn good casserole.  
  
A/N: Oh such an internal struggle! I really don't know how I am gonna continue this shit but I will if you want me too. I only came back to this story because it was 11pm and I was bored as all hell, by the looks of it, Chapter 2 turned into a drabble of merciless crap that should really be posted but meph I need something right? Flame or Praise away... 


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